Celebrities smell

Alright, people. Can we all agree that this is getting out of hand?

It all started this morning while I was watching Mariah Carey's new music video "Oh, Santa" (side note: it's catchy, but it ain't no "All I Want for Christmas"). I was momentarily confused as the video started with a faux-retro announcer-type extolling Ms. Carey's newest fragrance "Lollipop Bling".

Hold the friggin' phone there.

Lollipop Bling? Lollipop Bling? LOLLIPOP BLING?! Really?! Is that the name of her new fragrance? I'm just slightly surprised because last I checked, Mariah Carey was a FORTY YEAR OLD WOMAN, not, you know... nine years old.
I'm all for one being young at heart, but this Lollipop Bling advertisement looks like it was designed by Lisa Frank circa 1990. Is this perfume being marketed toward children? Or just women who love suckers and diamonds?

Then I started thinking about celebrity fragrances, in general. Lollipop Bling is definitely a contender for most absurd name, but let's not forget Jessica Simpson's "Fancy Nights":I have never, in my adult life, used the adjective "fancy" without a heavy dose of sarcasm and/ or irony. And what is with this ad? This does not look like a "fancy night" in so much as it looks like Ms. Simpson is vying to be an extra in The Vampire Diaries.

Speaking of crazy looking ads, did you see Christina Aguilera's ad for her perfume "Inspire"? No? Well, get a gander at this: It is clear that the inspiration Ms. Aguilera gets for her perfume is from Glinda, the Good Witch. I'm sure it must arrive via pink bubble. Now I'm inspired to watch The Wizard of Oz. Or to sing some songs from Wicked. One of those.

And have you ever noticed how perfume ads often show a grown woman swinging?
Does smelling good= field trip to the playground? And here's a question for Kim Kardashian: How in the heck can a perfume be described as "voluptuous?" How does voluptuous smell? I guess for $50 I could find out...

Last but by no means least, is Paris Hilton. She, oddly enough, is one of the perfume industry's most prolific celebrity scent endorsers. She has TEN fragrances out (second only to J.Lo and Celine Dion who each have 14), but in my opinion she reigns supreme in the ridiculous ad department:

For Fairy Dust she no doubt saw the new Tinkerbell movie. For Siren she saw "The Little Mermaid", and for Can Can she saw "Moulin Rouge". I really, really want her to watch "Apollo 13" and dress like an astronaut for her next perfume. Someone call her publicist or Tweet her and MAKE THAT HAPPEN, okay?

Anyway, you can see a Wikipedia list of celebrity fragrances here, but I urge you, my fellow females, let's put an end to this absurdity! Let's bring back the days of wearing Love's Baby Soft or Clinique Happy or something that, you know, doesn't need an absurd celebrity advertisement and endorsement to move units. Except "With Love by Hilary Duff". Leave her alone. It's awesome.

Exclusive Twitter contest: win tickets to the Austin sneak preview of Salt

Is it just me or was Angelia Jolie one of the most beautiful pregnant women, ever?

Dear Angelina, Will you please loan me one of those green dresses for Austin Fashion Week?

I love her. I even loved her in Wanted, and I don't usually like action-type movies. I think that's all been changing lately, though. The last time Hubs and I went to the movies, I saw a preview for the new A-Team movie and I was like, "WE HAVE TO SEE THAT!" Hubs looked at me like I had grown a second head. Maybe I'm having a boy. Maybe I have some extra testosterone floating around in me and now all I want to do is eat cheeseburgers, drink (non-alcoholic) beer, and watch action flicks.

Anyway, I say all this to say that I am super excited about Angelina Jolie's new movie Salt. Gorgeous, talented lady? Check. Action movie? Double check!

[images courtesy of Just Jared and Sony Pictures]

Get this: there's going to be a sneak preview screening of Salt in Austin this Tuesday, July 20th at 7:30 p.m. at Galaxy Highland. I have been given five (yes, FIVE!) prize packs to give away to the first five (local) Adored Austin readers who Tweet or Twitpic me a photo of their best Agent Salt/ spy inspired photos (mirror photos are totally okay!). Here's a silly example:

[Note: Salt publicity stills are here for legit inspiration.]

To win, simply use your Twitter account and tweet:
@adoredaustin, I want to see Salt. [Then insert the URL of your mobile phone pic].

In addition to a pair of tickets, you'll get a Salt v-neck tee (perfect for the gym!) and a water gun (perfect for the summer!). I'll tweet you back to let you know if you are one of the winners. The first five win, so what are you waiting for? Go!

5 of 5 entries received! Thanks to all who entered!

Rue McClanahan, I love you!

Thank you for all the emails and texts about the passing of my beloved Golden Girl Rue McClanahan! As some of my long time readers know, I'm a huge fan of The Golden Girls and even had a Golden Girls themed birthday party at Luby's last October:

Blanche Devereaux was always so saucy and bold... including in the way she dressed. It is my hope that when I'm golden aged I can take a cue from her character and still rock the animal prints and long necklaces! In honor of her passing, I'll be sure to wear my Golden Girls best soon.

[Bottom three photos ©Emmy Filkins.]

Vogue's Most Stylish Women of 2009

Vogue announced their list of 2009's Most Stylish Women. Do you agree with the rankings?

1. Alexa Chung, 2. Audrey Tautou, 3. Sarah Jessica Parker, 4. Cheryl Cole

5. Dannii Minogue, 6. Emma Watson, 7. Sienna Miller, 8. Diane Kruger,
9. Freida Pinto, 10. Kate Moss, 11. Lady GaGa, 12. Lily Donaldson

13. Leighton Meester, 14. Michelle Obama, 15. Angelina Jolie, 16. Georgia May Jagger,
17. Anna Friel, 18. Olivia Palermo, 19. Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, 20. Beth Ditto.

For the most part, I agree. I love that Alexa Chung bested Vogue's perpetual darlings Kate Moss and Sienna Miller. Lady GaGa (love or hate her) should be way higher than #11. I also think that Vogue should separate actors from the characters they play. For instance, Blair Waldorf dresses way better than Leighton Meester. Carrie Bradshaw has way more style than SJP, and Chuck had a to die for wardrobe whereas Anna Friel's style differs quite a lot. One last thought: WHERE THE HECK IS ANNE HATHAWAY?!

Do y'all see any other glaring omissions?

Lohan continues her dellusions that she is a fashion designer.

If you've been reading Adored Austin for a while, you'll know that I really, really don't like celebrity clothing lines (exceptions? Nicole Richie and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen... duh). I was bored by both of Lauren Conrad's collections, I was horrified by Heidi Montag's line, and I detest anything "made by" Lindsay Lohan. So imagine my horror this morning when I read on WWD that La Lohan is expanding her 6126 legging line to a full clothing collection. WHY?! LINDSAY, DID YOU NOT LEARN ANYTHING WITH UNGARO? Geez, Louise. She even tweeted that she needs more followers to get the word out about it.

Follow Lindsay! You read that right. She needs MORE followers! You know, because 250,538 just doesn't cut it!

It's your call. Here are the sketches. WWD reports that the average price point will be between $100- $150.

"Yes, I AM a designer. Picking buttons is hard work!"

I know, I know. I shouldn't judge until the line is out. But let's think objectively, shall we? Has Lohan done anything good since Mean Girls? Anything at all? Believe me. I'm rooting for her. I miss that spunky redhead who was in The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday. Anyone else?

Gaga for McQueen

When I first saw photos from Alexander McQueen's ss 2010 show, I was all like, "These are freaking awesome, but c'mon. Who could actually wear these?!"

Then I remembered that Lady GaGa existed.

[runway photos from Fashionising; video screen caps from YouTube]

Comment of the Day: Lady Gaga's existense is an ever present thought in my mind... -alya

Wedding shoes by Paris Hilton

Once again, a celebrity "designer" shows off her talents at making overpriced mediocrity, disguised as "fashion":

Yeah, because when I get married, I want to think of someone who is an excellent role model of romance and matrimony-- Paris Hilton.

[$120 exclusively at MyGlassSlipper.com]

Comments of the Day: "What will make everyone forget this is another mediocre celebrity "designer" collection?! I know! BOWS!" -Michelle

Perhaps Paris Hilton should instead release a stick-on bow collection! You could have 8 different bows and then stick them willy-nilly to $49 shoes from Dillards. :) -Vintage Vivant

Nicole Richie: shoes, jewelry, and clothing... oh my!

I'll admit it: I have celebrity dream friendships. In my fantasy world, Mindy Kaling is my going-out buddy, Rashida Jones and Natalie Portman are my artsy movie/ Thai food friends, and Nicole Richie is my favorite shopping companion. Oh, how I flip for Nicole Richie's style... even her maternity line ('though there's no bun in my oven at this moment). That's why I'm so excited about her three latest fashion endeavors.

• House of Harlow for Bebe jewelry available at Bebe stores and online, starting November 15th.
• House of Harlow 1960 shoes: 20 styles available at my-wardrobe.com in January '10.
• Winter Kate clothing: 40 pieces available at Neiman's, Bloomies, and Saks starting in February '10.

I hope to goodness the price points are midrange and the quality is top notch. I'm swooning over the black and white Aztec inspired shoe, the green silk bedroom jacket, and her bangles. Nicole Richie is a great designer. I've just now decided she will also be my Project Runway brunch recap buddy, too. Surely she watches that, right? Right?

Speaking of creepy fantasy celebrity friendships, who are some of yours?

[photos from nicolerichie.celebritybuzz.com]

Comment of the Day: omg...her designs kicked Paris Hiltons' a**!!! those shoes are HOT. HOT. HOT. -Kim

Katy Perry plus Karl Lagerfeld plus mask bag= mild amusement

Darnit, Karl!

I was perfectly content hating Katy Perry for the rest of my life, but then you went and gave her this bag. Now I find her kind of endearing. Frick.

[images via Go Fug Yourself]

Dear Lauren Conrad, I am sorry.

Dear Lauren Conrad,
I'm sorry I made fun of your celebrity clothing line. As Le Quaintrelle points out, your stuff is actually sort of cute. Basic, but cute.

I am writing you this note in hopes that you will never, ever, ever make a legging line like Lindsay Lohan. I don't care how awesome that alliteration sounded.

Also, the world would appreciate it if you were to take Lindsay Lohan under you wing and turn her back into the spunky, wholesome redhead who starred in Mean Girls. That was her, right?

Thank you for taking this into consideration.

Sincerely,
Indiana Adams

P.S.
Lauren, I made this handy reference for you which includes the latest photo from LaLohan's leggings line versus a photo of the girl who starred in Mean Girls.

[photos from the 6126 Twitter and imdb]
[this was a scheduled post in my absence]

Lauren Conrad for Kohl's

Lauren Conrad's new line launched at Kohl's today. Here it is in its entirety:

z,xmcnzx,mczxcn,zmvnz,vnz.,vnmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,,,,,zvx,cvn

Oh, sorry about that. I fell asleep on my keyboard because this stuff bored me into a spontaneous and uncontrolled deep sleep. Huge apologies. As I was saying...

Priced between $20 and $60, you can zxc.z,mcxm,mmmmmmmmcccccccnnnnnnnnnnn

Miss Piggy is my hero

I am not even kidding when I say that Miss Piggy is one of my favorite fashion icons. She is fabulous and fearless! One of my acting goals is to be in a Muppet Movie. How awesome would it be if Piggy and I could do a fashion talk-show together?

I am a huge fan of style trademarks, and I love that she has been rocking her lux lashes and satin gloves since the 70's. Last week, she met with Marc Jacobs to pick out an outfit for Macy's Glamorama (a fashion benefit event), and last night she debuted her Marc Jacob looks on the red carpet.

I wonder if Marc Jacobs makes that white leather biker's jacket in a not-Muppet size.

Jean-Charles de Castelbajac and Lady GaGa, take note. This is how Muppet fashion is done.

[photos from Just Jared]

Trend Alert: Doc Martens are back!

Just because Melrose Place and Beverly Hills, 90210 have been revamped in 2009 does not mean that all things 90's should be allowed to come back.

The exception, of course, is Doc Martens. I still have my low, brown Docs from high school, bit I'm in the market for a tall pair of metallic or floral Docs for fall, though.

Speaking of the 90's and Doc Martens and come-backs and television, can someone please make sure that since we're re-doing things that were near and dear to my heart more than a decade ago that My So-Called Life and Daria can jump on board this come-back boat, too? That would pretty much make me happy for like ever.

To see more present-day Doc Martens looks see:
Lookbook.nu's Doc Martens page

Perez Hilton launches Coco Perez

Confession: I am a huge fan of Perez Hilton. He is a fantastic human being, and his gossip blog is my daily guilty pleasure. Oh, don’t let his snarkiness fool you. He’s probably one of the hardest working, nicest (yes, nicest!) bloggers out there. A few years ago, before he was famous and before he officially picked up the moniker "Perez Hilton", he was a regular ‘ole blogger here on Blogspot. In fact, for a long time, he used the standard "Scribe" template that Blogger offered, and his only source of revenue was a tiny "donate here" Paypal link. After I blogged about my grandpa passing away on my own personal blog, he left me the nicest comment. Ever since then I’ve been a cheerleader for Team Perez.

All that to say, I like Perez. I really do! But despite all this, I'm not quite sure how I feel about his latest venture: a fashion blog called "Coco Perez".

CocoPerez.com will feature Celebrity red carpet and “on the street” looks, fashion industry news, how to get celeb looks for less, where to find fashions seen on TV and in movies, and interviews with “of the now” fashion designers. -from the CocoPerez.com ABOUT page.

This all sounds great, right? And I've looked around: the content over there is actually pretty good. It's the right combination of cheekiness and informative. However, so far, it doesn't seem too far off from his regular gossip site, as it's almost exclusively celebrity fashion commentary.

I'll keep my eye on Coco Perez, because I'm curious to see his picks for "on the street" fashion, and I'd like to see how he'll tell us "how to get celeb looks for less". On one hand, no one has as much access to celebrity information as he does, but on the other hand, this is a guy who launched a line at Hot Topic that consisted of graphically garish t-shirts, hoodies, and Kayne- esque sunglasses. In a word? Ick. Behold:

And, really, can we trust this guy for all of our fashion news?:

Well, maybe. I do kinda love his hair and make-up here.

[photos via Gawker and Newscom]

What the ELLE?!

Why is Miley Cyrus on the cover of a magazine that isn't, you know... Teen or Bop? Am I supposed to believe that her new partnership with Max Azria at Walmart puts her in Olsen Twin Style Icon territory?
I'll be honest. I just don't know where I stand on Miley Cyrus. On one hand, I find her extremely irritating, but on the other hand, the "Miley & Max" line isn't terrible. It looks like your basic, run of the mill, F21 stuff, but for people in rural towns where Walmart is literally the only store there, it may be a welcome change.

In an interview with People magazine, Miley "I'm not a Kid Anymore" Cyrus claims her line is made of "stuff [she] would pay $500 for, but can be bought for under $20!". She also claims that the line is "for anyone in middle America, from ages 8- 80".

Dear Miley Cyrus,
I fear that my grandma, as spunky and spry as she is, may have a coronary getting into and out of the patent pleather pants pictured on the bottom left. Additionally, I, for one, would be highly disturbed to see a second grader wearing those same pants on a day that is not Halloween. For the love of all things good and fashionable, please do not encourage anyone ages 8 or 80 (or near-abouts) to wear anything from your new line, but especially the aforementioned patent pleather pants.
Sincerely,
Indiana Adams

P.S.
Oops! Your bra was showing at your Elle cover shoot.

My biological clock thanks you, Nicole Richie.

Dear Nicole Richie,
Okay. Stop. Your new maternity line makes me want to get pregnant. Not that this biological clock needs any more help in ticking, okay? I may, just may, buy something from your new A Pea in the Pod line despite the fact that my womb is not yet occupied. It will be like the time I bought a Liz Lange maternity dress at Target, except your clothes will make me look fashionably bohemian, versus... actually looking pregnant (shame on you, Liz Lange!).
Sincerely,
Indiana Adams

I know... you love her... but WHY?!

Dear Nylon Magazine,
I realize what I'm about to say may get me shunned from the fashion bloggers community, but I just can't take it anymore! Nylon, please stop putting Sienna Miller on your covers. WE GET IT. You want her to be our generation's fashion icon. Now stop shoving her down my throat before I cancel my subscription!

Thanks in advance,
Indiana Adams

P.S.
Vogue, please take note, too.

I'm all for Cheetos, but...

This is gross.
In fact, I can only think of one person who may think this idea is genius.

They're at it again...

Oh, Uncle Jean-Charles! You and cousin Gaga's partnership is just too ridiculous for words.
How many plush frogs were killed in the making of this coat? Watch out! PETM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Muppets) is gonna getcha'.

P.S. I was not kidding about the Fozzie bear coat.

animal vs. Animal

There's animal prints...And then there's Animal prints....
Jean-Charles de Castelbajac takes it to a whole new level in his Fall 2009 collection.

Oh, and of course GaGa already rocked it. Will you?
Can someone pull some strings and have Jean-Charles do up a Fozzie Bear fur coat for me, instead?